Must’ve Hit a Reef
By James Andrawes
The original Pirates trilogy is one of my favourite trilogies, its story and characters are all enjoyable even if some are laughable. What that trilogy had was a sense of adventure, a feeling that you were going on a journey with the characters and caring about them. In the end of it all, you wanted the battle to keep going on just so you could see these memorable characters another time around. The fourth Pirates film was a step away from that, mainly because of no Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan. So when I first heard that for Dead Men Tell No Tales Will Turner was coming back and Elizabeth Swan might be too I became very excited. To have them in the main cast and have their characters trying to figure out how Will can get off The Flying Dutchman sounded like a film worth making.
Dead Men Tell No Tales follows Will Turner’s son, Henry, as he befriends a girl named Carina and Jack Sparrow to aid him in the search for the trident of Poseidon so that he can free his father. Also in the mix of this, all the evil Salazar is chasing after Jack Sparrow who killed his crew in the Devil’s Triangle. That plot is where the main problem of the film lies, no Will Turner and no Elizabeth Swan. For being in command of one of the most notorious and most adventurous ships in the seas, The Flying Dutchman, Will Turner sure doesn’t do a lot of showing up and for no reason at all. The film’s plot is very clearly missing two main characters and instead of doing anything about it the film decides to ignore it but expect you to be emotionally attached.
Dead Men Tell no Tales should’ve been a film about three pirates and the adventures they’ve been on together and how they must complete this one last task so that they can all live happily ever after. Instead of a new Jack, Will and Elizabeth adventure, you get an adventure that clearly they should’ve been in. I mean literally in this film Will and Elizabeth’s son knows of a way to save his father from a life aboard The Flying Dutchman and only the son goes to find the Trident to save him. So either there is a reason Elizabeth can’t go on that journey to save her husband or for some reason she just heartless. If the writers or directors think that by her not being on the adventure with her son is supposed to hide the fact that she is the mother than they must truly think the audience is stupid…right? The story just feels so half-assed and poor, too many parts that you could just write out as if they had an idea and someone changed it last minute. Once again one of the key parts of the film is Jack’s Compass except this time giving it away lets Salazar and his crew escape from the devil’s triangle to go after Jack and exact revenge. Jack has given away his compass before when he gives it to Will in At World’s End, or I’m assuming the spirits of the sea has an understanding of the term borrowing…guess general curses and magic in the franchise is more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules.
Dead Men Tell no Tales is another film that proves that the age of good surprises and twists are hard to come by. In a film like the original Star Wars films when someone did something surprising, like say the Emperor with Lightning coming out of his hands, it was a shock and made you think to wonder how your heroes were going to fight back. In this film, it just feels random and forced, as if to advance the plot. There is one point where Salazar and his men just start running on top of the water and you sit there and just go with it. In the first Pirates film, the Black Pearl’s crew were also dead but they weren’t running on water so what’s the difference as they’re both dead crews but different crews? Also, how many dead crews can you have in a film franchise?
It’s not just the plot that feels uninspired, most of the acting does as well. Unfortunately for the film and the franchise itself, it feels like Johnny Depp phoned this one in. The first half of the film Jack Sparrow is just a nuisance and you get the feeling that the rest of the characters, as well as other actors performances, have been affected by that too. Jack Sparrow has never been a huge main character, has been the focus but its never been just about him. Despite all that the character of Jack Sparrow lifts the film and has always been a positive asset whether it be a good film made better like Dead Man’s Chest or a bad film made bearable like On Stranger Tides. In Dead Men Tell No Tales though he brings it all down an extra level that it didn’t need to be.
The rest of the acting is alright, nothing amazing especially the usual weakish villain for a blockbuster. The score is good and the use of parts from previous films, especially At World’s End, is a shining light in the film. The CG is somewhat off in parts and good in others, some shots are beautiful to look at while others made me confused as to how they did the same thing before and it looked better then than it does now. Overall the production quality of the Pirates series is there and still different to most bland blockbusters. I just wish that some of the inspiration from the production quality went into the story and script.
Dead Men Tell No Tales should’ve been a big finale for the big three in the Pirates cast, Jack, Will and Elizabeth, there is even an after credits scene that would’ve been made better if it was a big finale. Instead, the key characters are left to the side for no reason at all when they should be showing up constantly and the focus is then once again on Jack Sparrow and someone he pissed off. We the audience then have to be told bland and repetitive exposition which slows down the adventure and doesn’t even let you wonder what Jack might of done to Salazar to make him so mad. Dead Men Tell No Tales could’ve provided us with nice twists and a roaring adventure where at the end of it all we celebrate the time we’ve had with these characters and continue on a new path.
I get that Jack Sparrow is great and that he is clearly key in the Pirates franchise but one of my favourite Star Wars films is now Rogue One and there wasn’t a single Jedi in it, a few familiar faces but all mainly all new faces. Maybe it’s time for Jack Sparrow to finally go down with his ship because its Pirates of the Caribbean not Jack Sparrow of the Caribbean and I feel like a new small adventure or even an adventure where Jack cannot be found, Force Awakens Luke Skywalker style, would be a breath of fresh air in the sails of this once beloved franchise.